Being a MOTHER

The first moments a woman gets pregnant is when she starts preparing for motherhood.
"I AM GOING TO BE MOM"
Well, in the Ghanaian tradition, one can not assume she is a mother until she brings her child home and the child has been out doored on the eighth day. However, I look around today and everything has changed and most people around fail to recognize this and move in the right direction. I am fully aware that we all can not think alike and what I consider right might be wrong by others.
Coming to understand that being a mother does not only have to be in the context of bringing forth a child after a full term pregnancy of early birth is something everyone should know.
I have had the pleasure of meeting wonderful ladies through which no fault of theirs have not yet been pregnant or had "their own" children. These are women of faith who have huge hearts and do their best to move forward.
Growing up, adoption had been a silent word in my community. Locally people described it as 'buying a child'. I always wondered how much money people had to pay to be a able to buy a child and when rumors spread that the neighbor, who had publicly struggled to have children disappeared and finally returned after some months with a baby in her arms, fingers were being pointed at her as the woman who bought a baby and says she has a child now.
Young as I was then, I was very curious and pestered my parents for information regarding the lady and how she bought her child. Secretly I think I wanted to save enough to get a sibling too since I am the last child. 'my parents told me nothing'.
You should know that no one takes a microphone and shouts to tell a friend or family that he/she has adopted. You are obligated to have children of your own and once you get married people immediately start calculating your ovulation and giving you deadlines to give birth. Funny you say, well you should 'travel and see'.
Today I look around and see how tremendously we all are. The opportunity to raise a child whether biological or not is one of the greatest blessings. Children are one of the purest gifts one can ever be entrusted with and having the opportunity to raise one is an immense blessing.
Grateful things are changing today and wonderful people are raising such wonderful children who they did not bring forth. I am deeply touched and moved to tears anytime I read or see a family with adopted children. I feel thankful to them because I wonder what some of these young fellows will be going through if they were not adopted.
I know not every adoptive story ends with 'and they lived happily ever after' having experienced some first hand. They need our support and help so they can do their best.
 After my family fostered 3 kids for a period of time, one was adopted whiles the other 2 were sent to family relations. We were all happy for the adopted since she was going to the states and we knew with her adopted family her life would definitely be better. After some years we were sad to hear adoptive family gave her up saying she was too much to handle. We all do wonder where are little one is and continue praying for her n the hopes she has now found a forever family.
I follow blogs of ladies who go through fertility treatments, miscarriages and find hope in adoption. I also see families who bless others by adopting children into their own family and giving them a place to call home. I adore these women of Faith.
One such lady who's example is that bright is Lauren Casper and even though I have not met her I can not wait to. You can follow her blog at http://www.laurencasper.com/  and know what I am talking about.

You should also see the beautiful adoption stories from http://www.thearchibaldproject.com/ and feel the joy captured on the still camera in your hearts.

Then can we come to the understanding that the joys of motherhood are not limited the woman who brings forth a child and names him on the eight day after birth! But to all who opens their hearts for these precious ones.

That Scary Moment when.............

Do you ever wonder what the Bible meant when it sais "Spare the rod and spoil the child"?
Did it mean we should fashion rods or sticks(canes) to hit our children anytime they make a mistake, a wrong choice or do anything bad?

On my way home from work last night, a car pulled up beside me. It became scary since the whole place was dark however, I felt comforted when I heard the voices of children in the back seat.
Immediately the car pulled to a stop, the lady in the front seat whom I assumed was the mother, wasted no time in beating one of the children seated at the back so harshly............. the neighborhood was very quiet might I say hence this little child's screams were so piercing it would make your heart sink.
Why would a mother labor for 9 months go through pain to have a child then beat that infant with an object be it a hand or a cane when he went wrong. Do we stop to think what runs through the child's mind? Most people don't but I do!
We should all stop and think of the scars we leave on these little ones. These precious ones we are doing our best to bring up in the right way.
I wouldn't say I went through my childhood without a stroke of a rod. Copral punishment after all was thought the best way to correct a child in schools where I grew up. You should know that did only made me dislike the teacher who handed out the punishment more. I might be able to remember most teachers who did cain me unfairly although I recently met one who swore he did it with love to correct me.
What do we think of when we meet children with these scars both physical and emotional. To say the least  getting through it is very difficult.
Most days I do have these kids tell me what happens when they make a mistake or take a step too close to the line.
My heart breaks each day I see that little girl with a scar on her beautiful skin.
I dare not ask her parents she tells me because that will make things worse for her. I love to see the beautiful smile spread across her face, see her eager to learn a new word, taste a new pastry I just baked or just talk gibberish and it will not matter at all. For just a moment this precious moment I am thankful...... she is HAPPY.